The Importance of Boundaries in Animal Care, Welfare, and Activism

Given the demanding and emotionally charged nature of helping animals, it’s crucial to have boundaries set in place so you can make your work sustainable without succumbing to compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, or burnout. But what exactly are boundaries?

It’s helpful to think of boundaries as a way of protecting what’s most important to you—your time, your energy, your emotional and mental space—just like you protect physical spaces such as your body or home. But not all boundaries are beneficial. Imagine a wide-open field, an imposing castle with a moat, and a well-maintained fence. These three images represent different types of boundaries:

soft or porous, rigid, and healthy. Each has its strengths and weaknesses, but only one can truly safeguard your well-being while allowing you to stay connected to your passion for helping animals.  

Let’s explore how these three types of boundaries take shape, how they might appear in your work with animals, and the impact they can have on your well-being and effectiveness.

Soft or Porous Boundaries

Envision your house sits upon acres upon acres of rolling hills out in the country. There’s no fence, no clear marker of where your land begins and ends. People wander in and out, cutting through your property as they please. Like this land, soft or porous boundaries have no clear limits. If you have soft boundaries, you may find yourself struggling with the following:

·         Difficulty saying “no” to others

·         Oversharing of personal information

·         Being overly involved in the problems of others

·         Quick to adopt or agree to other people’s opinions, even if you disagree, or may be too dependent on what others think of you

·         Tendency to be a “people pleaser” (e.g., adjusting your own needs, wants, and behaviors to accommodate others; not asserting your own values)

·         May have a fear of rejection if you don’t “comply” with others

·         Gives in to others easily to avoid conflict

·         Has a passive communication style

How these boundaries might show up at work:

·         Overworking (taking on more tasks or shifts when you’re already exhausted)

·         Agreeing to responsibilities, such as fostering an animal, when you know you don’t have the time, energy, space, finances, or other resources

·         Blurring professional lines by becoming overly involved in the lives of customers or clients

·         Bringing personal problems or “drama” to the workplace

·         Checking messages, emails, social media, etc. during personal time

Consequences of soft boundaries:

·         Overcommitting can lead to stress, exhaustion, burnout, compassion fatigue, depression, anxiety, or other mental health issue

·         Failure to say “no” can breed resentment

·         Sharing too much personal information can lead to others taking advantage of, manipulating, or exploiting you

·         Being too involved in the problems of others can result in emotional drain and lack of self-care

·         Agreeing with or adopting other people’s opinions can cause a loss of identity or authenticity, which can impact self-esteem

·         Too much “people pleasing” can create unhealthy relationship dynamics and result in neglecting your own needs

·         Giving in to the needs of others to avoid conflict can result in them disrespecting you and your boundaries, as well as suppressed frustration or anger

·         May allow others to treat you poorly, abuse you, or take advantage of you

·         Passive communication may inhibit personal growth and missed opportunities

Rigid Boundaries

Now imagine you live in a castle surrounded by a deep moat, keeping everyone at

a distance. The opposite of soft boundaries are rigid boundaries. If you have rigid boundaries, you might have a tendency to be inflexible and very guarded with others. You might also exhibit the following:

·         Almost always says “no” to everything or everyone

·         Mostly detached from others and their problems

·         Does not let anyone or anything into their heart

·         Pushes others away to avoid conflict or being vulnerable

·         Dismisses different opinions, views, beliefs, etc. of others

·         Does not trust others

·         Resistant to opening up to or relying on others

·         May have a high need for control or be a perfectionist

·         Keeps distance from others to avoid rejection or getting hurt

·         Has an aggressive communication style

How these boundaries might show up at work:

·         Refusing to take on any extra tasks, even in emergencies or crisis situations, to the point where it negatively affects the team or animals

·         You may be viewed as cold, uncaring, and unsupportive, leading to perceived lack of empathy and quality of care

·         Unwilling to help colleagues, which can result in strained relationships

·         Isolating yourself from others

·         Refusing to ask for help or support from others

·         Using rigid boundaries as a defense mechanism to avoid processing deep emotional wounds or trauma

Consequences of rigid boundaries:

·         Others may view you as overly independent, detached, unapproachable, or aloof

·         You may miss out on meaningful connections with others due to isolating yourself

·         Feelings of loneliness or isolation

·         Has very few close relationships and struggles with intimacy

·         Workplace issues (e.g., interpersonal or communication problems, limited teamwork or collaboration efforts, missed opportunities for professional growth, etc.)

·         Increased risk of stress, anxiety, exhaustion, compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, or burnout due to reluctance to ask for help or support

Healthy Boundaries

Now imagine you live in the city where your yard is separated from your neighbor’s by a sturdy chain link or wooden privacy fence. It’s clear where the boundary line is, but maybe you have a gate you can open to allow for guests at times or shut to keep out unwanted intruders at other times.  Those with healthy boundaries value the needs and feelings of others as well as their own. Healthy boundaries are not too soft, and not too hard…. they’re just right and may look like the following:

·         Knows when to say “no” and accepts “no” from others

·         Shares personal information in an appropriate and professional manner

·         Selective about whom you allow in and takes time to build trust with others

·         Able to support others without becoming co-dependent or overly involved

·         Respects different opinions, values, and views without sacrificing your own

·         Able to ask for help and support when needed

·         Can be flexible and adapt when needed

·         Uses assertive communication

How these boundaries might show up at work:

·         Able to relax or recharge by taking regular breaks or time off

·         Increased productivity and time management

·         Has close and meaningful—yet professional—interactions and relationships with other co-coworkers, volunteers, clients, or customers

·         Viewed by others as respectful, friendly, and supportive

·         Is a team player and helps out when needed, but also protects personal time and energy by not overcommitting

·         Helps to create a more respectful and supportive workplace

·         Has more opportunities for growth due to being adaptable and flexible

Consequences of healthy boundaries:

·         Better able to maintain a work/life balance by clearly defining “work” time and “personal” time

·         Able to practice self-care without feeling guilty

·         Improved self-esteem and sense of identity

·         Has healthy relationships and interests outside of working with animals

·         Improved communication and interpersonal skills

·         Less likely to develop compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, burnout, or other mental health issues

Practice Makes Perfect Progress

Creating and reinforcing healthy boundaries—just like building a fence—takes time and patience. Some days, that fence will stand strong. Other days, a storm might blow in and threaten to knock it all down. There are going to be times you will get pushback from others. But the more you practice, the more you maintain your fence, the more empowered you will feel by setting limits and saying “yes” to yourself, your relationships, and your life outside of animal work. Remember, healthy boundaries aren’t meant to be impenetrable stone walls. They should sturdy yet flexible, allowing you to keep showing up for the animals you love—without losing yourself in the process.

-By Jennifer Blough